|Europeans:||I drove forty minutes to the Netherlands for some groceries and then I popped into Germany to see some of my relatives before driving back home.|
|Americans:||I was in Florida, I drove for nine hours, now I'm still in Florida.|
|#australians:||i drove for nine hours #now i'm nine hours away from home #no one is here #the streets are empty #how did this happen #where has civilisation gone #i am alone in the universe #oh wait no there's an echidna it's okay|
harry potter is adopted by sirius
Orphan is the New Black
i just told my mom i died at birth and i’ve been a ghost this entire time just growing and manifesting into the daughter she’d lost
and she’s just like
well please go to the light because i am tired of your shit
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job’s a joke
Your love life’s DOA!
It’s like your always stuck in second gear
When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year but….
I’ll be there for you! When the rain starts to pour
I’ll be there for you! Like I’ve been there before
I’ll be there for you!
Cause’ you’re there for me too….
My brother says “shit happens” in response to everything
My brother was given a “shit happens” mug because of this
My brother loved his “shit happens” mug like a child
Last week, my brother dropped his “shit happens” mug
You probably know what his reaction was
|Person:||Have you seen that episode where...|
|Me:||I have seen every episode, go on|
What do you mean most people leave their rooms before noon
What do you mean most people leave their rooms
Sirius Black high-fiving Lily Evans every time she raises her hand in class.
Sirius asking James to high five her when he is too sick to come to class.
Remus Lupin doing it with a sigh and an immediate apology when neither Sirius or James is available.
Peter being overly enthusiastic about being asked to do it, and slapping Lily in the face by accident.
It got better